The term "where you stand" refers to so many things in life. It can be your opinions on politics, parenting, who you are as a person, how you are in a relationship, blah blah blah.
To me, it's where I am at the end of the day both physically and mentally. It's my home base.
My home base is grace. At least that's my goal. I have off days, off weeks, even off months, if I'm honest. Everyone does. So I personally have a hard time when grace is not extended to me. I don't like to be challenged or confronted. And I don't like that because most days, I truly feel like I am giving the best version of myself to the world and the people I encounter. And when I'm not or I don't, I can promise you that I am hardest on myself.
I can't sleep when I have done someone wrong. I don't feel right in my soul if I have treated someone less than they are worthy of being treated.
But there is an opposite side of this. And it is uprooting my soul.
I have been too nice. The problem with this is that THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THIS. There is problem with this because people have been groomed to think that they don't need to be kind. People have morphed into creatures of consumerism, walmart price match syndrome (that removes the person from the business aspect and turns it all into a factory/machine and NOT A HUMAN BEING), and the syndrome that just because a person feels a certain way, they are entitled to say it.
And let me just tell you, the best advice I have ever been given is to BE QUIET. There is a beautiful time for vocalism, opinion giving and sharing of all sorts. But to be honest, in relationships, there is less room for that and more room for GRACE.
And do you know what I want? I want people to know where I stand. I hope and pray they know that I am usually always doing the very best I can. But I also have feelings, I am very sensitive to how people make me feel, and I am very sensitive to how I make others feel and how I am portrayed. I do not EVER want to hurt someone's feelings or make them think that I am not concerned about them or that I am not always checking myself to be sure that I am not portrayed any other way but nice and great and grace-filled.
And sometimes I have to TRY REALLY HARD for it to come across as being nice and filled with grace because you know something? I am a human being, and I don't always have great days. I don't always wake up in a fabulous mood. Most days, I have to talk myself into it. If you know me and my life, you know that joy is something I have always had to really work for. But you know what? I work for it. And in my opinion, so should everyone else.
I hate toxicity. I hate rude. I hate lack of grace. I really, really, really don't like it. And it makes me wonder, I mean really wonder, what on earth has caused this in a person's life. What on earth has tricked you into thinking that you don't need to be kind or graceful or that you are what the universe is revolving around? Now don't get me wrong, I am a rude little judy with a mean little 'tudy and on some occasions I am having a rotten day and I can't contain it. But do you know what I do? I text my friends and we laugh about it after I complain way too intensely about a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter. And if something happens to me that makes me want to be rude, do you know what I do? I ask my great friends for the best way to solve an issue. And they are amazing people so they help me when I can't decide what the best thing is to do in a certain moment. (and thank GOD for them).
I don't get it and I never will and I just sincerely hope that someone, somewhere will read this and remember how important it is to be kind and gentle with one another. And by one another, I mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU COME IN CONTACT WITH. Because what else are we doing here? Just living on earth and making other peoples' lives worse? What is that?
I want you to know where you stand in life. Are you kind? Are you generous? Are you loving? Are you compassionate? What is your anchor? Are you floating away to rude-town and forgetting that the world is not actually yours? And it's not actually all about you? We hold no hammer here on earth. And while I can lay that hammer down as much as I want to, there is no power being wielded (unless to my children) that is actually doing anything beneficial. So QUIT. Seriously QUIT.
Remember where you stand. Remember where your anchor is.
I'm sad to be in this world where I can be the nicest and best version of myself and still not make people happy. That hurts my heart. My soul empties a little bit every time it is slowly forgotten that although I am a service provider, I am also a mom of two and a wife with a household to POUR INTO. That's my reason to be here.
So although I tend to function in ways that I can easily be hurt (yes my feelings get super hurt when people are mean to me) I know where I stand. I know that at the end of the day, I have to be okay with what I am doing. I have to feel at peace with the interactions that I have. I have to try my very best to continue to develop my self-confidence and self-worth and that happens by living in grace and doing my very, very, very best in every situation. So although I am not a perfect person and I do not, by any means, act perfectly in every instance, I know where I stand.
And sometimes it's next to these cute baby cows <3