When my grandpa Jack died, the pastor at his funeral service offered the most beautiful piece of scripture regarding death. He shared that "there is a time for everything."
After that, I have always held that notion close to my heart. When something would happen that I didn't see coming, I would think to myself there is "a time for everything."
I know you've most likely witnessed at least a speck of my life if you have followed me on any social media or know me or are reading this.
And for that, I thank you.
This whole life thing can be so hard. And I know enough, and hope that you do as well, that I know how much goes on behind the scenes of all that is social media. It's easy to get caught up in all that we read and see, and it's also so easy to get caught up in all that we don't see. I know, simply because I live it, that there is always so much more going on that the world doesn't see. There is so much that I personally have never shared with anyone. Some of our pain is so intimate. It's vulnerable and to give it life by mentioning it, would be equal to the floor falling out from under us. Even if the fall is only two feet down, the feeling is still the scariest part.
I can't control my life. I believe that in the deepest part of my heart and of my soul. Because of this, I feel like the most fortunate human being on the earth. I look around and while some days I see failure and sadness and feel confused by it all, I can tell you that I've made a shift lately to begin to see all that blooms, all that is growing, and all that needs watered.
I've spent a couple of weeks just sitting, waiting, and waiting some more. I've been running from unhappiness for the majority of my adult life to the point that I've also run from the happiness. If you know me, you know that i've never taken a break from work. Or from life. I was too scared at what I would find there. I know, though, that I couldn't and didn't want to live my life like that forever. I did it long enough.
Sometimes we have to look around and check to see what season we are in. I fully believe that there is a time to work hard, and maybe even a time to run from whatever we are not ready to face yet. And I believe that there is a time to face it. I also believe that at some points, we are meant to sit and wait. Maybe more often than not, actually.
And finally, I'm okay with that.
I didn't realize how stubborn I was with this life. I guess for a long time, I really thought that I could talk the universe into giving me what I thought I wanted. But when I sit and I wait, what's supposed to fall into my lap, does. And in the meantime, I get to spend precious time listening to kindergarten class crushes during bath time.
That's my season right now. And it's a good one.